A link to the original text can be found here
Introduction
Those learned in the Gemara will notice a seeming mistake in this article's title. The tractate about Purim within the Babylonian Talmud isn’t called Masechet Purim, it’s named after the primary text of the Megillah, thus it’s called Masechet Megillah. So what exactly am I translating?
Masechet Purim isn’t part of the canonical books of the Babylonian Talmud. In fact it’s not even from the Amorim or the Tanaaim who wrote those books. It’s not a forgery either. It’s a parody.
Written by Kalonymus ben Kalonymus Masechet Purim falls into the genre known as Purim Torah. Satirical books on Judaism. Masechet Purim specifically is a parody of the Talmud. In honor of Purim I thought it could be interesting to go over a portion of this text.
This will be my first translation of a medieval manuscript so I apologize if there are any errors in my translation due to misreading the font of which I’m not familiar or due to mistranslating the language. Any explanatory notes I’ll put in (). Any comments I have will be put in [].
Page 2
[One should already see how Masechet Purim mirrors an actual book of gemara. It starts out on page 2 like the real Talmud, and at the top of each page one will find the title of the chapter, the number of the chapter and the name of the tractate, similarly to any Gemara in the Talmud one may pull out]
On the thirteenth day, The first chapter, Tractate Purim
(Mishnah) On the thirteenth day one should poor out the water from the houses and from the courtyards, and it’s forbidden to drink it until the 16th day or flogging will come upon them since “least you see” and “lest there be found” from the middle of the thirteenth day and forward.
(Gemara)From where do we know this? Said Rav wineseller said rav Jug, It’s said in scripture “remove the evil from amongst you ” (Deuteronomy 21:21). And there’s no evil other then water as is in scripture “And the water was bad and the land is barren” (2 Kings 2:19) [ here Qalonymos seems to be parodying the gemaras practice of pulling together seemingly unrelated verses to make an argument]. It follows the reasoning of Rav wine as Rav wine said the there was no punishment of the generation of the flood of water except those because they drank wine on Purim as it says (in scripture) “And all plans devised by the mind was just evil all day” (Gen. 6:5 [interestingly enough the word יצר is missing in this manuscript]). And there’s no evil but water. And it says in a braita whoever drinks water on Purim doesn’t have a portion in heaven (Lit. the world to come). As it’s written “And they fought with Moshe and said give us water and we will drink” (Ex. 17:2). If they asked for water they’d have a portion in heaven. It’s like Rav wineseller as Rav wineseller who explained he who dies by stabbing doesn’t have a place in the world to come. “There he put for them a statute and a law” (Ex. 15:26) Sham (the word for there) in Gematria (Jewish numerology system) with the whole on Purim Rav Glutton attacks (asks an attacking question), but Noach had a gnat come into his wine forever as it’s written “and Noach became a man of the ground and planted a vineyard (Gen. 9:20).